Just a daily dosage of the amazingness that is The Office.

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"You looking for dinner and a movie?'Cause you're not gonna find it in that box.”

- Andy (to Angela)

Creed tells the story

Creed: I remember it was very late at night, like eleven, eleven-thirty. Big fella comes in, screaming about God knows what. I think maybe Halpert had stolen his car, something like that. So the big fella pulls out a sock filled with nickels, then Schrute, grabs a can of hairspray and a lighter-

Angela: You're useless.


Angela: You know this is a luncheon shower. Girls only.

Michael Scott: No problem. The guys are having a little shindig of their own in the warehouse. From 2:30 to 3:15. That is the only time that Bob was available. Sort of a guys' night out. A 'G-N-O' if you will. A 'gno.' Actually it's more of a guys' afternoon in. A G-A-I. A gay. Not-- not... it's uh, not gay. It's, uh, just uh, it's a bridal shower for guys. A guy shower. An hour long shower with guys.


[interview with Kelly]

Kelly: This day is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s! This day is bananas, b-a-n-a--

[cut to Angela]

Angela: [taking aspirin] I don't have a headache. I'm just preparing.


Dwight Schrute: Prison Mike, what's the very very worst thing about prison?

Angela: Don't encourage him, Dwight.

Michael Scott: The worst thing about prison was the... was the dementors. They were flying all over the place and they were scary and then they'd come down and they'd suck the soul out of your body. And it hurt!

Karen: Dementors like in Harry Potter?

Michael Scott: No, not Harry Potter.

The Office

Toby: Now Oscar is feeling discriminated against by his coworkers. Especially Angela.

Michael: I think Angela might be gay.. could Angela and Oscar be having a gay affair?

Jan: That's not possible, Michael.

Michael: It, uh, could be.

Jan: No Michael, it can't.

Prison Mike

Michael Scott:Well, there’s somebody I’d like you to meet. Somebody else who has been to prison, who can tell you what it is really like. [puts on bandana] I’m prison Mike. You know why they call me prison Mike?

Angela:Do you really expect us to believe you’re somebody else?

Michael Scott:Do you really expect me not to push you up against the wall, bioch?

Prison Mike

Hateball Hooligans

Jim Halpert: I really like the paper-triangle-flicking-and-hitting-things game.

Kevin: We call it Hateball.

Jim Halpert: Why?

Kevin: Because of how much Angela hates it.

Pam Pong

Pam Beesly: C'mon Angela don't you have a game?

Angela: I have one, yes.

Pam Beesly: Well let's play. What is it?

Angela: I call it 'Pam Pong'. I count how many times Jim gets up from his desk and goes to reception to talk to you.

Pam Beesly: We're friends.

Angela: Apparently.


Kevin: Sometimes we play 'who can put the most M&Ms in their mouth'.

Angela: You play that

This was tough. I suggested we flip a coin, but Angela said she doesn’t like to gamble. Of course by saying that she was gambling that I wouldn’t smack her.

Pam Beesly

No Cookie

Dwight Schrute: What about, that meeting, later? To discuss finances.

Angela: Yes. [whispering] But don't expect any cookie.

Dwight Schrute: But what if I'm hungry.

Angela: No cookie.

I’m not gaining anything from this seminar. I’m a professional woman, the head of accounting. I’m in the healthiest relationship of my life. I just think it’s insulting that Jan thinks we need this. And apparently, judging from her outfit, Jan aspires to be a whore.


I actually look forward to performance reviews. I did the youth beauty pageant circuit, and I enjoyed that quite a bit. I really enjoy being judged. I believe I hold up to even severe scrutiny.